


Setting the Record Straight

by SmokeysWife



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Garrus Vakarian is a Good Friend, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-06
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2020-06-23 16:13:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19704889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmokeysWife/pseuds/SmokeysWife
Summary: 'There was something between you and Garrus, wasn't there?'A short one-shot in which Garrus gives Kaidan a few home truths post-Mars about exactly what life was like on the Collector run. (Purely platonic Shakarian - much as I love that ship)





	Setting the Record Straight

**Author's Note:**

> I stumbled across this in an old folder and thought I'd share it with the world. I tend to write a lot of fics about Shep coming to terms with her death and reincarnation in ME2, and this follows a similar vein. As usual the world and characters belong to Bioware - I'm just playing in their sandpit:)

Kaidan looked up as the door to his hospital room slid open, scowling as he recognised his visitor.

'Kaidan! It's good to see you awake,' Garrus said, taking the seat next to the bed. 'We need to talk.'

'I don't really think...' Kaidan began, stopping as Garrus held up his hand.

'By talk, I actually meant I should talk and you should listen,' he said. Kaidan's scowl deepened, and Garrus offered him the turian version of a smile.

'Shepard told me about your conversation,' he said, settling himself into a more comfortable position on the stool. 'And I thought I ought to set you straight about a few things.'

'If you're here to justify...'

'Firstly,' Garrus said, raising a finger, 'I'm not entirely sure why Shepard or myself would need to justify anything. I was there on Horizon, Kaidan, and from where I was standing you made it quite clear that whatever was between you and Shepard was over.'

'But...'

'Secondly,' Garrus continued, raising a second finger, 'Nothing happened between me and Shepard. We're friends, that's all.'

Kaidan let out a soft snort.

'She said the same thing. I suppose you're going to tell me you didn't spend multiple nights in her cabin as well?'

'Oh. I definitely spent multiple nights in her cabin, but nothing happened.' Kaidan opened his mouth to protest, but Garrus spoke over him, his mandibles clicking irritably as he continued. 'And if you let me, I'll tell you why.'

Kaidan sat back, his arms folded.

'I'm listening,' he said.

'Good. It started when we got back from Horizon...'

***

'Garrus, Mr Moreau requests your presence at the Commander's quarters,' EDI's voice rang out through the battery. Garrus looked up from his calibrations and let out a small huff of concern.

'Is everything okay?' he asked.

'Mr Moreau would prefer to inform you in person,' EDI said. Garrus sighed and made his way to the elevator, his mandibles clicking with impatience as he waited for it to reach the loft.

'Garrus!' Joker said, gesturing for him to join him by the Commander's door.

'What's going on?' Garrus asked.

'I think something's up with the Commander. She was really weird after... y'know. And EDI says her shower has been on now for more than an hour. But she's blocked access to her cabin from all Cerberus personnel and EDI can't override it without the Illusive Man's permission...'

'And he's the last person Shepard would want to be involved,' Garrus finished for him. 'How can I help?'

'Well you're not technically Cerberus personnel, so EDI said she'd be able to give you access...'

'EDI, open the door to the Commander's quarters,' Garrus said.

'Opening the door now,' the AI responded. The door opened with a soft hiss and Garrus gestured for Joker to lead the way. The Lieutenant let out a soft whistle as he stepped across the threshold.

'Bit of an upgrade from the SR1,' he said. Garrus looked around the vast chamber, his eye drawn to the model ship collection above the desk.

'Commander?' Joker called. The gentle thrum of the shower could be heard from the bathroom but there was no sound of movement. Joker looked uncomfortably at Garrus who stepped forward and opened the bathroom door.

'Shepard!' Garrus said, moving to squat beside the commander. She was huddled at the foot of the shower, fully clothed, her hair sodden and half-way out of its usual bun. She rocked, her head buried in her knees, a datapad by her feet.

'Shit,' Joker said, as he took in the scene. 'What's she saying?'

'It sounds like 'I'm still me,'' Garrus said. Shepard was repeating the words over and over, like a mantra, Garrus reached over and picked up the datapad, scanning it quickly.

'It looks like she managed to hack the Cerberus records on her rehabilitation... She's been going through everything they had to do to patch her up...' Garrus shook his head and handed the datapad to Joker. Reaching up he turned off the stream of cold water. She looked up as the water stopped.

'Garrus?'

'Shit, Shepard.' Garrus put an arm around her, trying to rub some warmth into her as he looked up at Joker. 'Human lips aren't meant to be blue are they?'

'Shit!' Joker said. 'EDI get Dr Chakwas up here. Tell her its urgent but be... be discreet.'

'Understood,' the AI's disembodied voice replied.

'We need to get her warm,' Garrus muttered, standing and leaving the bathroom, his eyes alighting on a blanket and pillow that was tucked beneath the desk. Grabbing it, he hurried back to Shepard and ran back to wrap it around her shoulders.

'Shepard, what the spirits did you think you were doing?'

'Need... Needed to kn-know...' she stammered.

'Need to know what, Commander?' Joker said crouching down by the doorway.

'Needed to know I was still real,' she whispered, tears mingling with the cold water on her cheeks. She placed her head back on her knees and started rocking again. Garrus and Joker exchanged a glance over her.

'Dr Chakwas is waiting outside,' EDI's voice sounded, interrupting the awkwardness.

'Let her in, EDI,' Garrus said.

'What on Earth is going... Commander!' the doctor exclaimed, rushing to crouch down beside her. 'How long has she been like this?' she asked, scanning Shepard with her omni-tool.

'EDI said the shower had been on at least an hour,' Joker said. The doctor frowned, studying the output from the scan.

'No signs of hypothermia, but we need to get her warmed up,' she muttered. 'Commander? Commander, I need you to get up so we can get you out of those wet clothes and into bed.'

Shepard's rocking intensified.

'Can't,' she muttered. 'Please... Please don't make me!'

The doctor turned to Garrus with a frown.

'Commander, has something happened? Has someone done something to you?' she asked. Shepard shook her head.

'Can't,' she repeated. 

The doctor shook her head.

'We need to get her up. Garrus, can you help me carry her please.'

Garrus made to scoop up the Commander, but Shepard lashed out, dealing him a resounding blow.

'No,' she screamed, thrashing. 'Please, no!'

'It's okay, Commander, it's okay,' Dr Chakwas said, her voice soothing as she cast a concerned glance at Garrus. 'No one will make you go to bed, but I need you to tell me what's wrong. What are you afraid of?'

Shepard focused on the doctor as she held her wrists, seeming to see her for the first time.

'Space,' she whispered.

The doctor frowned and stood up. Walking into Shepard's room she looked up at the ceiling and saw the large viewing portal above the bed for the first time. Garrus watched as the doctor's face turned pale and she swallowed hard. When she walked back to Shepard, her eyes were bright and she crouched down beside her, taking her shoulders as though she might break.

'Shepard..,' she began her voice husky. She swallowed and tried again, 'Commander, what can you remember of the day you died?'

Joker muttered a curse beside him and Garrus felt his chest tighten.

'Everything,' Shepard whispered.

***

When Garrus looked at Kaidan he had lost what little colour he had regained since Mars.

'You mean...?' he asked, his voice husky. Garrus nodded.

'She remembers being spaced. She remembers suffocating as her oxygen drained. She...' he coughed, as the emotion caused his throat to seize. Swallowing hard, he continued, 'She remembers burning as she entered the atmosphere.'

'Jesus...'

Garrus' mandibles twitched angrily.

'The Illusive Man must have suspected. He specifically requested that the viewing portal be installed above her bed. He must have thought it was a good way to confirm his suspicions. No normal person could go to sleep under the stars after being spaced. Spirits, just thinking about it...' Garrus shuddered, and he let out a soft huff. 'Of course, he hadn't counted on the Commander. There was no way she was going to admit a weakness to Cerberus. We'd been on that ship for months by that point. Months. She'd been getting what little sleep she could on the floor underneath her desk where she couldn't see the view.'

Kaidan shook his head in disbelief.

'Of course, I made damn sure Miranda put the requisition in for a new ceiling the next morning, but it took a few weeks to sort out. I stayed in Shepard's quarters every night until it did so that she could sleep.'

'Garrus, I...'

Garrus shook his head holding up his hand.

'I'm not telling you this because I think you deserve to know. I'm telling you this because Shepard deserves for you to know, and I know damn well she won't tell you. You have no idea what life was like for her back then, none of us did. She'd just woken up from a two year sleep, the last thing she remembered was dying. Pretty much everyone she cared about mistrusted her and she was forced to work with people she despised. She couldn't trust who she was; Miranda told her straight up she'd wanted to put a control chip in her head but the Illusive Man wouldn't have it. And then you came along and told her she'd betrayed everything she stood for.'

Garrus took a deep breath, 'But despite it all, she loves you. She kept a picture of you on her desk all the way through that mission, even after Horizon. And I never saw her so much as flirt with anyone else, not that they didn't try of course. Vega's been all over her since she got reinstated, but she's been having none of it.'

'In my opinion, she can do better, Alenko, but she seems to think otherwise, so just make sure you prove me wrong.'

Garrus stood up, brushing down his armour.

'I'll see you around, Major.'

Kaidan lay, staring at the door for several minutes before reaching for his datapad and starting to draft an e mail.

***

He looked up as his door hissed open, his chest clenching as he saw the woman standing there. She entered the room warily, her face impassive.

'Kaidan...' she began. He held up a hand to stop her.

'Shepard... Jane,' he corrected himself. 'I'm... I'm so sorry.'

A war of emotions played across her face as she watched him, and he held out a hand to her. She looked at it for a moment before taking it, and he smiled tentatively at her. She smiled shakily at him before her face crumpled and tears spilled down her face. He pulled her to him, and wrapped her into a hug, soothing her hair with his hand and vowing that he would never hurt her like this again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading:)


End file.
